Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to understand, use, and manage our own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.

Although known about and written about for many years previously, this concept gained great popularity in 1995 when psychologist and science journalist Daniel Goleman published his popular book, "Emotional Intelligence."

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is not just a buzzword in the psychology field — it is a critical skill that can enhance both your personal and professional life.

It enables you to navigate your social environment with ease, improving your relationships with colleagues, friends, and family.

High emotional intelligence can also improve your decision-making abilities.

Rather than being overwhelmed by emotions, you can understand and manage them, leading to more rational and informed decisions.

Why should you care about EI?

I would have asked the same question 20 or so years ago. In fact, I’d never even heard of Emotional Intelligence. I was clueless about many things back in the day. I needed to change.

The issue for me was low self-confidence.

Here’s the thing, self-confidence isn’t an isolated trait or ability which you can build independently of anything else.

It doesn’t work like that. It’s an outcome of other self-development processes.

Self-confidence means different things to different people and for me it was all about my lack of Emotional Intelligence.

I had to dig deep and work on my inner world first. My mindsets were toxic.

Later I worked on my outer self. Interpersonal and communication skills were foremost in my case.

Only once these elements were in place and at a high enough level, could I start to feel more self-confident.

If you have low self-confidence maybe EI could be a great starting point for your turnaround.

So, what is this EI thing all about?

Components of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence comprises four key components or pillars:

Self-awareness: This is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behaviour.

Self-regulation: This involves controlling impulsive feelings and behaviours, managing emotions healthily, taking initiative, following through on commitments, and adapting to changing circumstances.

Understanding others: This involves understanding and picking up on the emotions of others and understanding what's happening in your social environment.

Managing Relationships: This is the ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate clearly, influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict.

Enhancing Your Emotional Intelligence

Just like any other skill, emotional intelligence can be learned and improved. It involves self-reflection, seeking feedback from others, and practicing empathy and active listening.

Emotional intelligence requires a commitment to personal development and a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone.

Believe me, all this really did take me out of my comfort zone.

In conclusion, emotional intelligence plays an integral role in our everyday lives.

By understanding and managing our emotions — and those of others — we can create more meaningful and successful relationships in our personal and professional lives.

All the best to you and yours

Andrew D Pope